Grief…
How does grief actually affect one? When I was young, the thought of losing a parent terrified me. I remember the day that I was knitting my very first jersey while watching my mom playing tennis at the Welkom Tennis Club.
She was a lovely player, her service was strong and I admired the way she would throw the ball up high into the air, swing the racquet in a loop behind her head while looking up at the ball as it rose.
Then she would bring the head of the racquet around and smash the ball into one of the corners of the serving blocks on the opposing side.
Imagine my surprise on this particular day when the first part of the service went smoothly, but instead of her hitting the ball, she fell down onto the court and began to have a seizure!
It was the first time I ever saw this happen and I was absolutely petrified. People ran onto the court and kept her still and I sat on the bench wondering if my mother was dying. My immediate thought was that I would never be able to finish my jersey without her help! How selfish I was.
When my dad died at the age of 75 I was wracked with grief. Grief at the unfairness of losing him and knowing that I would never sit next to him on the couch again while he smoked his pipe and explained how he solved his cryptic crossword puzzles.
My younger brother, Ray, died while I was with him in hospital. He was surrounded by his children and his siblings. Grief was so raw that it felt like my heart would break. My God, but I just loved him so much – he was perfect to look at as he lay there, but it made no difference to the outcome.
Eventually at the age of 94 my mom died – and somehow I managed to stay strong even although my heart ached. She had lived a long and very good life. She was a role model to me and I could not have asked for a better one.
In all the above situations grief was present, the process of “getting over” each successive one was, in my situation, a little easier to understand. The inevitability of death becomes more real as one ages.
But today marks the first birthday after the death of a beautiful, kind, loving daughter of a dear friend of mine who died from asthma in July this year. This type of grief is something I can not ever imagine. She was young and healthy one day and the next she was dead.
Khalil Gibran says, “When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
“For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one”
But truly, my heartfelt sympathy goes out to any parent who loses a child. It is not the expected norm and I do not know how you all keep going.
Cell phone update…
I was a Nokia fan. First the huge black block that we all thought was fantastic, then, over the years they became smaller and smaller.
When I was doing the Argus I remember I had a flip phone that would fit nicely in the back pocket of my cycle shirt. I never had any complaint against this make of phone, but one day Morne gave me his old iPhone and that was the start of my love of the Apple technology.
Since then I have had two further iPhones and absolutely love the way they work and feel. However now it is becoming impossible to continue to use the one I have. It is the iPhone6S and I am not able to update the IOS system on it. This is something that I find so annoying. If the product still works perfectly, surely they should keep supporting it? But it does stand to reason that as new technology is discovered, the handsets are becoming more and more sophisticated and can’t be upgraded.
I have had an on going contract with Cell C since living in Pietermaritzburg. At the end of every contract period I collect my new android phone and give it away to a family member who needs it more than I do. But this year it is different.
I will not be able to afford a new iPhone, so I have been allocated a Samsung Galaxy and I hope that I am able to get to understand the way it works and enjoy using it. Time will tell.
Fortunately my iPad will still be used for all other things – like my photos which are stored on the iCloud and all my notes and writings.
Lazy Sunday afternoon…
I received a number of messages and videos from Brett this morning. He and Amor are still working magic on the piece of land they call home in Botha’s Hill. The live stock are all thriving and there are a number of new chicken in the coop. I plan to go to visit them during the week to see how the garden is growing.
